Sweetbottom – Angels of the Deep
Elektra Asylum Records 1978
Often, when I browse records, an album cover catches my eye and I just want the band in question to sound a certain way based purely upon their looks. Just look at both the Ramones and New York Dolls self-titled debuts; there is no way those guys do not sound awesome. No way. When I picked up Sweetbottom’s Angels of the Deep, I was conflicted. One on hand, the two members on the right look like the biggest nerds on Earth. According to the notes on the back of the album the members’ first names are Paul, Mark, Duane, and Martin. I think we’ve found our Duane and Martin. On the other hand, the two members on the left, presumably Paul “Vito” Wiegratz and Mark Torroll, have moustaches. I hope you can see why I was conflicted. If all four members were nerds, then we might be in for some pretty awesome new wave. If all four members had moustaches… well, the possibilities are endless; especially considering this album came out in 1978. However, all four members did have their shirts unbuttoned, so I should have been quite suspicious. After all, Cheap Trick is the only band allowed to pull off this type of dynamic.
Reading the song titles confused me even more. Songs like “Electro-Strut,” “Veena Deva,” “Her” and “Monique” all sound like they could be hit new wave singles. Though, titles like “Angels of the Deep,” “Amazon Ritual,” and “Shrapnel In My Ankle” all sound like they could be total shit… or worse, progressive rock. Oh no.
If there is one way to get my attention it has to be opening an album with six instrumentals. Good God. My fears were confirmed; this is progressive rock. The back of the album lists Duane Stuermer as the bass player and lead vocalist implying there would be some singing. Of the eight tracks here, only one, the aforementioned “Monique,” has any vocals, and let me tell you, after hearing this maybe the album should have had eight instrumentals. “But, Mon-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-que, well, I’ve tried to leave many times, you know, all these mistakes I’ve made…” I’m just gonna stop right there. This is terrible lounge music at best. We all very fortunate that “Shrapnel In My Ankle” doesn’t have any words.
As for the rest of the tracks, they sound like watered down prog-jazz jams, with tons of noodly keyboards, but not in the good way. You know, the way that would have been awesome if all four members were mathletes. The title-track even starts off with sounds of the ocean and gulls. Though, considering this is probably the only album in the history of the world to ever be recorded in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin, that’s probably not the ocean, but the of sound of rich people’s money. Don’t get me wrong, these dudes are all talented musicians, but that doesn’t mean anything. The guy from Nitro can break wine glasses with his voice. Big whoop! Boring song after boring song. Did I mention this album has tons of reeds? Need I say more?
I understand prog rock has its place. I highly enjoy Rush (if you even consider that prog rock). What I don’t understand is how, in the 70s, bands like this could get signed to major labels. At this time Elektra had the Cars and would soon have bands like X and Motley Crue. Sweetbottom is completely forgettable, evidenced by the fact no one has ever heard of this group. Though, absent-from-this-recording, founding member Daryl Stuermer (brother of Duane) went on to play with Genesis and Phil Collins. He even has his own official website. I can just imagine the Stuermers’ annual holiday get together: “Hey, Duane, remember when I ditched you and that shitty band. Now I have my own website!” “Well, at least I didn’t have to play ‘Sussudio’ every night for two decades!”
